I trust you...
....with my life.
This past week I’ve been reflecting on Psalm 56. In my confirmation class on Wednesday night we started with a breath prayer. As I breathed in I said the words “I trust you...” as I breathed out I said the words “...with my life.” This is the biggest challenge I face. The next morning during my Sabbath ritual I read the whole of Psalm 56. What I found interesting is that the psalmist began by saying, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Later in the writing the phrases were reversed, “In God I trust, I am not afraid.” The simple reversal of words changed my outlook.
It’s one thing to say I’m afraid therefore I put my trust in God and it is something completely different to say I place my trust in God and therefore I’m not afraid. When we operate out of a place of fear we get to a point where we reach out because we can’t handle things anymore. We want to let go of the responsibility we hold on to in hopes of being released from the fear. I believe we see examples of this every day for our culture has become very reactionary.
When I think about Youth and Young Adult Ministry I think more often than not we start from a place of fear, and anxiety, but not trust. Often Youth Ministry is established in congregations and presbyteries because of the fear that the church will die without the youth, or fear that our children and youth will be lost in our world and have no faith.
Psalm 56 reminded me that we need to push ourselves to begin in a place of trust. The psalmist speaks the reversed phrase twice...I place my trust in God therefore I’m not afraid. I think it is said twice because it is often harder to do.
I’ve also started to wonder if our National goals for Youth and Young Adult Ministry start from a place of trust or from a place of fear, and if indeed it is a place of fear how can we change this so that God’s mission can be fully realized rather than letting our own agendas get in the way. Does the Call to Purpose which evolved out of the last national meeting start from a place of trust or fear?
Taking Sabbath time has helped me to start from a place of trust in my life and in my ministry. When we are in a balanced state we can stay in that place of trust because our anxieties won’t get the better of us.
When we act out of fear we bend over backwards for the youth just to have them there. We bring the frills we try and make it fun and exciting, but I wonder what we are truly giving them. Moreover when we react and act from a place of fear we often ignore our instincts, or we rush to find a volunteer who may have little to no training. I wonder what the youth and the volunteer truly gain from this?
Friends may trust in God! Blessings, Karen
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
My thoughts on Hebrews 4
It has taken me all week to reflect on Hebrews 4 posted by Karen last Sunday. I read the passage before I went to work last Monday morning and sat and prayed that God would speak to me through these words. I came back to it on Wednesday, re-read the passage and was still feeling bogged down by it. I think what challenged me so much was that I had a sense of guilt come over me, that I was being unfaithful or unbelieving by not taking rest. I know that it may sound kind of twisted to put it that way but actually it does make some sense.
It took so much effort for me to get this scripture because I haven't been taking weekly sabbath time. Even though I know that I should be and so reading that those who don't believe will not find rest in God, challenged me. I need to take time for my faith, remember that I am one of God's children, praise God daily, follow the teachings of Jesus and take time for sabbath rest regularly.
Later in this passage, it says that "no creature is hidden". When I forget my connection with God, God is still there with me. When I don't go to church and forget to pray, God is still there with me. When I get frustrated over work or life stuff and get completely stressed out and don't pray, God is still there with me. And when I get run down, tired, and depressed, God is still there with me. If I prepare to just be with God, to not be distracted by work, to worship and praise, to ask and hear in prayer, and take sabbath rest, I will more likely remember that God is still there with me and I won't be hiding (either intentionally or unintentionally) from God.
In relation for the goal "to strengthen and develop local youth and young adult ministry through a network of spiritually healthy, education and ethical leaders", I wonder how our leaders can be encouraged to be faithful and take time for sabbath, not only because they are supposed to, but because it can strengthen their relationship with God and further their faith journey. When I was working in a congregation, there were so many Sundays when I just didn't really feel like going to church. Now that it's up to me to decide if I feel like going, when I do go, I am able to be fully present and worship, without worrying about my lesson plan, children's time or the reflection.
Alison
It took so much effort for me to get this scripture because I haven't been taking weekly sabbath time. Even though I know that I should be and so reading that those who don't believe will not find rest in God, challenged me. I need to take time for my faith, remember that I am one of God's children, praise God daily, follow the teachings of Jesus and take time for sabbath rest regularly.
Later in this passage, it says that "no creature is hidden". When I forget my connection with God, God is still there with me. When I don't go to church and forget to pray, God is still there with me. When I get frustrated over work or life stuff and get completely stressed out and don't pray, God is still there with me. And when I get run down, tired, and depressed, God is still there with me. If I prepare to just be with God, to not be distracted by work, to worship and praise, to ask and hear in prayer, and take sabbath rest, I will more likely remember that God is still there with me and I won't be hiding (either intentionally or unintentionally) from God.
In relation for the goal "to strengthen and develop local youth and young adult ministry through a network of spiritually healthy, education and ethical leaders", I wonder how our leaders can be encouraged to be faithful and take time for sabbath, not only because they are supposed to, but because it can strengthen their relationship with God and further their faith journey. When I was working in a congregation, there were so many Sundays when I just didn't really feel like going to church. Now that it's up to me to decide if I feel like going, when I do go, I am able to be fully present and worship, without worrying about my lesson plan, children's time or the reflection.
Alison
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Invitation Still Stands
The invitation still stands. God is again inviting us into rest, to enjoy the gift of Sabbath. The summer held many moments of Sabbath time for me personally, and for a while I was even able to find a rhythm to my life which included feasting with friends, sitting and basking in the sun in the early evening. I found a creative space this summer for coming up with new topics of discussion for the youth, and new possible gatherings for the congregation. I spent more time on the golf course then I ever have, but after reading this scripture I realize that I had missed one important thing – Rest!
Rest isn’t simply about sitting still for me, or for that matter sleeping or napping. When I think of Sabbath rest I think of spending time in intentional reflection with God. Taking time each week to read scripture and then journal and talk with others about it has deepened my connection with God, and that is what I was missing this summer. My spirit had become restless, and longed for a sense of peace and grounding, that I had found last fall. My heart longed to be opened. The Sabbath ritual had been a place where I allowed myself to feel, to release my spirit and to hear God’s voice in everyone around me.
I was disappointed this summer when week after week there was no scripture posted, but I did find other ways to share Sabbath with others. At the beginning of June, the Youth Forum Design Team for General Council 40 met for the first time. Rick, Adam and I felt that it would be very important to share the principles of Sabbath with the group, those being feasting, resting, ceasing, and embracing. The first night we split our team up into small groups and had each group prepare a different part of our evening meal. With each course part of our group would serve the food, another group would pray and then we would spend time in conversation learning about our passions, our dreams, our faith and our lives. Taking over 3 hours to eat together proved to be a blessing beyond anything we imagined. I marvelled at the depth of sharing we had reached in such a short time, I smiled as each member of our team seemed to find a place in which to share their gifts. And throughout the weekend we found time to play together, to delight in our surroundings, and to sing in a monestry together. At the end of our meeting people commented that they were leaving a meeting feeling full and not empty for the first time. The amazing thing is that we got all of our work done and more.
In my own congregation, I shared the principles of Sabbath with the staff and from that we have recreated the opening of our worship and have decided to spend the year exploring the question, “Is it well with my soul?” Each week we ask the congregation to reflect on this question, and we have been focussing on the four principles of Sabbath in hopes that people will find ways to implement them in their lives. We have thought about what we need to cease being about this year, we have looked for places in our ministry where we could make room for God’s spirit to work. What I have witnessed over the past several weeks is a congregation who is beginning to shed some of their expectations of themselves and others, and who are finding more ways to hear God’s call to mission.
For me the most important part from the Hebrew’s scripture was verse 1, “therefore, while the promise of entering his rest is still open, let us take care that none of you should seem to have failed to reach it.” I think God is calling me to keep practicing my ritual and keep finding ways for others to enter this rest, for in doing so my spirit feels free, energized and at home – I enter God’s rest. I am ever grateful for the second invitation into this rest, I hope you are too.
I want to thank Rick Gunn for his reflection as well. It’s wonderful to hear how the scripture touches each person. It reminds me of the richness that community can bring.
Blessings my friends,
Karen
Rest isn’t simply about sitting still for me, or for that matter sleeping or napping. When I think of Sabbath rest I think of spending time in intentional reflection with God. Taking time each week to read scripture and then journal and talk with others about it has deepened my connection with God, and that is what I was missing this summer. My spirit had become restless, and longed for a sense of peace and grounding, that I had found last fall. My heart longed to be opened. The Sabbath ritual had been a place where I allowed myself to feel, to release my spirit and to hear God’s voice in everyone around me.
I was disappointed this summer when week after week there was no scripture posted, but I did find other ways to share Sabbath with others. At the beginning of June, the Youth Forum Design Team for General Council 40 met for the first time. Rick, Adam and I felt that it would be very important to share the principles of Sabbath with the group, those being feasting, resting, ceasing, and embracing. The first night we split our team up into small groups and had each group prepare a different part of our evening meal. With each course part of our group would serve the food, another group would pray and then we would spend time in conversation learning about our passions, our dreams, our faith and our lives. Taking over 3 hours to eat together proved to be a blessing beyond anything we imagined. I marvelled at the depth of sharing we had reached in such a short time, I smiled as each member of our team seemed to find a place in which to share their gifts. And throughout the weekend we found time to play together, to delight in our surroundings, and to sing in a monestry together. At the end of our meeting people commented that they were leaving a meeting feeling full and not empty for the first time. The amazing thing is that we got all of our work done and more.
In my own congregation, I shared the principles of Sabbath with the staff and from that we have recreated the opening of our worship and have decided to spend the year exploring the question, “Is it well with my soul?” Each week we ask the congregation to reflect on this question, and we have been focussing on the four principles of Sabbath in hopes that people will find ways to implement them in their lives. We have thought about what we need to cease being about this year, we have looked for places in our ministry where we could make room for God’s spirit to work. What I have witnessed over the past several weeks is a congregation who is beginning to shed some of their expectations of themselves and others, and who are finding more ways to hear God’s call to mission.
For me the most important part from the Hebrew’s scripture was verse 1, “therefore, while the promise of entering his rest is still open, let us take care that none of you should seem to have failed to reach it.” I think God is calling me to keep practicing my ritual and keep finding ways for others to enter this rest, for in doing so my spirit feels free, energized and at home – I enter God’s rest. I am ever grateful for the second invitation into this rest, I hope you are too.
I want to thank Rick Gunn for his reflection as well. It’s wonderful to hear how the scripture touches each person. It reminds me of the richness that community can bring.
Blessings my friends,
Karen
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
"Today, if you hear God's voice..."
Hi, Sabbath team and friends thereof,
Wow, Karen! That passage from Hebrews is dense! Or at least I find it so. I pondered your question about the connection between the passage and the National goal (see Sept 21 posting). But I couldn't stop going back to phrases in the passage that spoke to me rather than the goal.
There is a lot of Good News in the reading and there is a call to account. The writer invites me to notice if I have hardened my heart to God's rest. Even the phrase "Today, if you hear God's voice..." strikes me with its "if". IF!? It is so true that there are days when I search for God's voice and I hear nothing. Not that God's voice isn't there but rather I feel unable to hear it.
God's rest "remains open for some to enter it". Will I be part of the "some"? How can I prepare to be part of the "some"?
As I reflect back on what has been our Year of Sabbath I feel that my Sabbath practice and ponderings has helped me to prepare to be open to some wonderful things. In the last few months I began to feel a deep centeredness, a focus on my own creativity, a clarity about what really matters in my ministry and my personal life and a slowly developing ability to be truly present in many moments. (I wish I could say every moment but I can't.)
When I began to realize that I was generally feeling energized and Spirit-led for an extended period I began to wonder why. I believe the Year of Sabbath has been a huge part of this present space.
Sabbath has not been easy. I didn't anticipate that I might reap the benefits of the practice in the ways that I am. But that might be the point: don't anticipate what the Spirit might be moved to do when I create the space for God to move at all.
What I know quite clearly is that the most powerful Sabbath relationship for me has been my monthly "session" with my mentor. As I write the word "mentor" it feels funny. It has been a long time since Keith and I have used the language of mentoring. Instead we are definitely sharing and accompanying.
I expected that my relationships and sharings with the Sabbath team would be most powerful but honestly it has not been but for the obvious fact that we cannot gather face to face with some frequency. The blog and emails help but that has not felt like authentic community to me. I sincerely cherish the two times we have been together and have gleaned MUCH insight into Sabbath from those times (and I am grateful for the grounds on which friendship and collegial networking have been laid).
The last line of the Hebrews passage challenges and inspires me:
"Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Living faithfully takes BIG boldness! I will continue to be open to the Year of Sabbath and what might unfold from it for me, for my congregation and for my church as a whole. (A good place to start is finding out when I am supposed to choose a focus scripture and blog and DO IT! I took a Sabbath from Sabbath in the summer.)
One powerful lesson I have learned is that God is at work (and rest) whether I am open to God or not.
I leave you with one of my new favourite pieces of literature. A poem by Rene Rilke.
Be well.
Rick Gunn
Because once someone dared
to want you,
I know that we, too, may want you.
When gold is in the mountain
and we've ravaged the depths
till we've given up digging,
it will be brought forth into day
by the river that mines
the silences of stone.
Even when we don't desire it,
God is ripening.
Wow, Karen! That passage from Hebrews is dense! Or at least I find it so. I pondered your question about the connection between the passage and the National goal (see Sept 21 posting). But I couldn't stop going back to phrases in the passage that spoke to me rather than the goal.
There is a lot of Good News in the reading and there is a call to account. The writer invites me to notice if I have hardened my heart to God's rest. Even the phrase "Today, if you hear God's voice..." strikes me with its "if". IF!? It is so true that there are days when I search for God's voice and I hear nothing. Not that God's voice isn't there but rather I feel unable to hear it.
God's rest "remains open for some to enter it". Will I be part of the "some"? How can I prepare to be part of the "some"?
As I reflect back on what has been our Year of Sabbath I feel that my Sabbath practice and ponderings has helped me to prepare to be open to some wonderful things. In the last few months I began to feel a deep centeredness, a focus on my own creativity, a clarity about what really matters in my ministry and my personal life and a slowly developing ability to be truly present in many moments. (I wish I could say every moment but I can't.)
When I began to realize that I was generally feeling energized and Spirit-led for an extended period I began to wonder why. I believe the Year of Sabbath has been a huge part of this present space.
Sabbath has not been easy. I didn't anticipate that I might reap the benefits of the practice in the ways that I am. But that might be the point: don't anticipate what the Spirit might be moved to do when I create the space for God to move at all.
What I know quite clearly is that the most powerful Sabbath relationship for me has been my monthly "session" with my mentor. As I write the word "mentor" it feels funny. It has been a long time since Keith and I have used the language of mentoring. Instead we are definitely sharing and accompanying.
I expected that my relationships and sharings with the Sabbath team would be most powerful but honestly it has not been but for the obvious fact that we cannot gather face to face with some frequency. The blog and emails help but that has not felt like authentic community to me. I sincerely cherish the two times we have been together and have gleaned MUCH insight into Sabbath from those times (and I am grateful for the grounds on which friendship and collegial networking have been laid).
The last line of the Hebrews passage challenges and inspires me:
"Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Living faithfully takes BIG boldness! I will continue to be open to the Year of Sabbath and what might unfold from it for me, for my congregation and for my church as a whole. (A good place to start is finding out when I am supposed to choose a focus scripture and blog and DO IT! I took a Sabbath from Sabbath in the summer.)
One powerful lesson I have learned is that God is at work (and rest) whether I am open to God or not.
I leave you with one of my new favourite pieces of literature. A poem by Rene Rilke.
Be well.
Rick Gunn
Because once someone dared
to want you,
I know that we, too, may want you.
When gold is in the mountain
and we've ravaged the depths
till we've given up digging,
it will be brought forth into day
by the river that mines
the silences of stone.
Even when we don't desire it,
God is ripening.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
God's Promise
I invite you all to reflect on Hebrews 4. I believe that this scripture connects to the National goal of "to strengthen and develop local youth and young adult ministry through a network of spiritually healthy, education and ethical leaders. How do you think this goal connects to the scripture?
"Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest is still open, let us take care that none of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For indeed the good news came to us just as to them; but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not united by faith with those who listened. For we who have believed enter that rest, just as God has said, "As in my anger I swore, they shall not enter my rest," though his works were finished at the foundation of the world. For in one place it speaks about the seventh day as follows, "And God rested on the seventh day from all his works." And again in this place it says, "They shall not enter my rest." Since therefore it remains open for some to enter it, and those who formerly received the good news failed to enter because of disobedience, again he sets a certain day -- "today" -- saying through David much later, in the words already quoted, "Today, if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts." For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not speak later about another day. So then, a sabbath rest still remains for the people of God; for those who enter God's rest also cease from their labors as God did from his. Let us therefore make every effort to enter that rest so that no one may fall through such disobedience as theirs.
Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And before him no creature is hidden, but all are naked and laid bare to the eyes of the one to whom we must render an account.
Since, then, we have a great hight priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a hight priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Blessings in your sabbath reflection -- Karen
Monday, June 30, 2008
Dwelling on God
God, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
Psalm 90:1-2
I know there are many great reasons to read contemporary language versions of the Bible, but there is something about the more traditional language of the NRSV and yes, even the KJV, that still appeals to me. Consider the word "dwelling," there just aren't many other places these days that I can read that word. When I read the word I think of home and of lingering. There is the idea of both place and time included in the word "dwelling." In this short text, we read that God is our dwelling place for all time. We find our home in God and we reside in time and space with God. God is with us in all time and all space and in this time and this place. God is part of our daily routines, rituals, movements, and interactions.
My favourite time to linger with God and notice God's presence with me is in the morning hours. I like to get up earlier than anyone else in the household (and my housemates will tell you I get cranky if they are up early too!) so that I can go through my morning routine and ritual in quiet and solitude. My morning rituals may seem slow and even silly to some, but I need that time to give shape to my day, to centre me, and to allow me to enter the rest of the day with a sense of God's presence.
How do you greet the day?
What rituals or habits help to establish your day?
What is your favourite time of the day?
What do you do to intentionally find your dwelling place with God?
Praise be to God who dwells among us. May we find ways to linger in time and place with God.
-Amy
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The presence of God
An old Hasidic rabbi crosses the village square every morning on his way to the temple to pray. One morning, a large cossack soldier, who happened to be in a vile mood, accosted him, saying, "Hey, Rebby, where are you going?"
And the rabbi said, "I don't know."
This infuriated the Cossack. "What do you mean, you don't know? Every morning for twenty-five years you have crossed the village square and gone to the temple to pray. Don't fool with me. Who are you, telling me you don't know?"
He grabbed the old rabbi by the coat and dragged him off to jail. Just as he was about to push him into the cell, the rabbi turned to him, saying: "You see, I didn't know."
--Traditional Tale.
Over the years I have heard story after story of the struggles of different people who are engaging in Youth and Young Adult ministry. Part of the struggle is that congregations often look to the youth minister to know the answer to the questions how do we get youth in the church, or how will we keep the church from dying? This is an impossible expectation to live up to. As we all know no one person can save the church.
Thinking back on the first 5 years of my ministry at Riverbend United Church I remember feeling inadequate, and full of fear that I would fail, or someone would realize that I really didn't have much training to do this job. I always felt that my colleagues were years ahead of me, and I was envious of their programs. I think about all the mistakes I made, and how I was suddenly respected as a youth minister simply because my group grew to 60 youth. I would have to say that, those were the years that my ministry was at it weakest and I didn't deserve respect simply because my group appeared to be big in numbers. I spent the year feeling like I was always behind, and I spent all my time simply trying to keep the crowd of youth under control and entertained. It was also during that time that my personal life was in shambles. I remember this one moment during that time when I felt completely defeated, and I seriously considered leaving the church. I was unhappy, I was exhausted, and I was stretched. I had no idea where I was going.
I remember sitting in the dark sanctuary of the church by myself at 2 in the morning staring at the cross. My mind was a blank. All I wanted was to feel something, I wanted to know that God was there holding me, helping me, walking with me. Instead I left the church that night feeling numb, but that was it. The next day didn't get better, in fact the next year didn't get better, but somehow, I kept going. That was the year that I was asked to justify my job, by providing numbers of youth, detailed time sheets of how I was spending my time, and a list of results, goals and outcomes.
Somewhere in all this I came to a place where I remembered why I was doing this ministry. I think that 2 Corinthians 4:1-2 captures it best: "Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart. We have renounced the shameful things that one hides; we refuse to practice cunning or to falsify God's word; but by the open statement of the trust we commend ourselves to the conscience of everyone in the sight of God." I think that subconsciously God was sending me that message. It was by God's mercy that I was doing this ministry. God was holding me, supporting me and walking with me. I wish I had been engaged in the practices of sabbath during that difficult time, because I think I would have come to this understanding a lot sooner. Taking time each week to meditate on scriptures, and taking time to share my thoughts and questions with others gives me strength, clarity of purpose, and hope. It is because of God that I have not been crushed, nor driven to despair, forsaken or destroyed. I'm grateful for the 13 years that I've had at Riverbend, the relationships that I've built, the depth of sharing that comes with this long term ministry. I'm also grateful that I lived in the struggle because it has helped me to come to know the person that I am and it has deepened my faith. It is something that I will always treasure.
I hope and pray that others will find comfort and strength in knowing that we all struggle in this ministry and that we are not alone. May these words bring you peace, and hope as you continue in this ministry:
"So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18.
Blessings, Karen
And the rabbi said, "I don't know."
This infuriated the Cossack. "What do you mean, you don't know? Every morning for twenty-five years you have crossed the village square and gone to the temple to pray. Don't fool with me. Who are you, telling me you don't know?"
He grabbed the old rabbi by the coat and dragged him off to jail. Just as he was about to push him into the cell, the rabbi turned to him, saying: "You see, I didn't know."
--Traditional Tale.
Over the years I have heard story after story of the struggles of different people who are engaging in Youth and Young Adult ministry. Part of the struggle is that congregations often look to the youth minister to know the answer to the questions how do we get youth in the church, or how will we keep the church from dying? This is an impossible expectation to live up to. As we all know no one person can save the church.
Thinking back on the first 5 years of my ministry at Riverbend United Church I remember feeling inadequate, and full of fear that I would fail, or someone would realize that I really didn't have much training to do this job. I always felt that my colleagues were years ahead of me, and I was envious of their programs. I think about all the mistakes I made, and how I was suddenly respected as a youth minister simply because my group grew to 60 youth. I would have to say that, those were the years that my ministry was at it weakest and I didn't deserve respect simply because my group appeared to be big in numbers. I spent the year feeling like I was always behind, and I spent all my time simply trying to keep the crowd of youth under control and entertained. It was also during that time that my personal life was in shambles. I remember this one moment during that time when I felt completely defeated, and I seriously considered leaving the church. I was unhappy, I was exhausted, and I was stretched. I had no idea where I was going.
I remember sitting in the dark sanctuary of the church by myself at 2 in the morning staring at the cross. My mind was a blank. All I wanted was to feel something, I wanted to know that God was there holding me, helping me, walking with me. Instead I left the church that night feeling numb, but that was it. The next day didn't get better, in fact the next year didn't get better, but somehow, I kept going. That was the year that I was asked to justify my job, by providing numbers of youth, detailed time sheets of how I was spending my time, and a list of results, goals and outcomes.
Somewhere in all this I came to a place where I remembered why I was doing this ministry. I think that 2 Corinthians 4:1-2 captures it best: "Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart. We have renounced the shameful things that one hides; we refuse to practice cunning or to falsify God's word; but by the open statement of the trust we commend ourselves to the conscience of everyone in the sight of God." I think that subconsciously God was sending me that message. It was by God's mercy that I was doing this ministry. God was holding me, supporting me and walking with me. I wish I had been engaged in the practices of sabbath during that difficult time, because I think I would have come to this understanding a lot sooner. Taking time each week to meditate on scriptures, and taking time to share my thoughts and questions with others gives me strength, clarity of purpose, and hope. It is because of God that I have not been crushed, nor driven to despair, forsaken or destroyed. I'm grateful for the 13 years that I've had at Riverbend, the relationships that I've built, the depth of sharing that comes with this long term ministry. I'm also grateful that I lived in the struggle because it has helped me to come to know the person that I am and it has deepened my faith. It is something that I will always treasure.
I hope and pray that others will find comfort and strength in knowing that we all struggle in this ministry and that we are not alone. May these words bring you peace, and hope as you continue in this ministry:
"So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18.
Blessings, Karen
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