Finding My Way

Hi, team and anyone else who is following this Year of Sabbath,

Just wanted to share some words on how my Sabbath practice is going. I have no problem setting aside my Sabbath time on Wednesday mornings. Though my commitment to the ritual itself has been changing. I used to really enjoy getting all my worship items laid out like my Bible, my little slips of paper with team members' names on them, more slips of paper with people in my community I am concerned about, my candle and readings. I would fuss a bit over the "liturgy". Does it feel better to do breathing meditation BEFORE I read or AFTER? Should I sing the song I chose for the whole team or one that just comes to mind?

But these past few weeks I have simplified. I light a candle but the little slips of paper are gone. I don't always sing anymore but I ALWAYS try to meditate, which is usually so frsutratingly difficult that my brain starts to try to convince me that it isn't going to happen. But eventually I slip suddenly and gently into a heart space where I only know peace and joy in God's presence. I rejoice when that happens which of course breaks the meditation because I have begun thinking about it.

I was thrilled in December to make my Sabbath practice two hours. Then in January I wondered how on earth I would spend three hours. I resolved to make Wednesday mornings ritual and reading time. I would do my little solitary worship service then read whatever churchy book I was into. I like this pattern very much. I should always dedicate such time to reading otherwise it takes me months to read a book. As the months go by and hours get added on to Sabbathing, I think I will add them to Friday (a day I always try to stay away from work). And I will follow what sounds so scripturally true in Heschel's book: I will relax, I will celebrate, I will sleep, I will revel in God's glorious wooded or ocean-side places. I will say NO wherever possible to work commitments on Fridays. It will be a holy day for me as a child of God on earth.

My biggest struggle with this whole "project" is that we are supposed to be discerning the will of God for youth ministry and the church but that is work and work is not Sabbath. So I try to do what I think is Sabbath and I also dedicate discerning and journaling time to the ministry.

My final thought for this entry...I wish we could be Sabbathing and discerning together. Last month I had my first official Sabbath meeting with my mentor. Of all the weeks I spent trying to connect to God's spirit alone in my apartment, I never felt God's presence so strongly as when my mentor and I, in the same room, both shut or eyes and just listened.

Be well.

Rick G(unn)