Dwelling on God

God, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Psalm 90:1-2

I know there are many great reasons to read contemporary language versions of the Bible, but there is something about the more traditional language of the NRSV and yes, even the KJV, that still appeals to me. Consider the word "dwelling," there just aren't many other places these days that I can read that word. When I read the word I think of home and of lingering. There is the idea of both place and time included in the word "dwelling." In this short text, we read that God is our dwelling place for all time. We find our home in God and we reside in time and space with God. God is with us in all time and all space and in this time and this place. God is part of our daily routines, rituals, movements, and interactions.

My favourite time to linger with God and notice God's presence with me is in the morning hours. I like to get up earlier than anyone else in the household (and my housemates will tell you I get cranky if they are up early too!) so that I can go through my morning routine and ritual in quiet and solitude. My morning rituals may seem slow and even silly to some, but I need that time to give shape to my day, to centre me, and to allow me to enter the rest of the day with a sense of God's presence.

How do you greet the day?

What rituals or habits help to establish your day?

What is your favourite time of the day?

What do you do to intentionally find your dwelling place with God?

Praise be to God who dwells among us. May we find ways to linger in time and place with God.

-Amy

The presence of God

An old Hasidic rabbi crosses the village square every morning on his way to the temple to pray. One morning, a large cossack soldier, who happened to be in a vile mood, accosted him, saying, "Hey, Rebby, where are you going?"
And the rabbi said, "I don't know."
This infuriated the Cossack. "What do you mean, you don't know? Every morning for twenty-five years you have crossed the village square and gone to the temple to pray. Don't fool with me. Who are you, telling me you don't know?"
He grabbed the old rabbi by the coat and dragged him off to jail. Just as he was about to push him into the cell, the rabbi turned to him, saying: "You see, I didn't know."
--Traditional Tale.

Over the years I have heard story after story of the struggles of different people who are engaging in Youth and Young Adult ministry. Part of the struggle is that congregations often look to the youth minister to know the answer to the questions how do we get youth in the church, or how will we keep the church from dying? This is an impossible expectation to live up to. As we all know no one person can save the church.

Thinking back on the first 5 years of my ministry at Riverbend United Church I remember feeling inadequate, and full of fear that I would fail, or someone would realize that I really didn't have much training to do this job. I always felt that my colleagues were years ahead of me, and I was envious of their programs. I think about all the mistakes I made, and how I was suddenly respected as a youth minister simply because my group grew to 60 youth. I would have to say that, those were the years that my ministry was at it weakest and I didn't deserve respect simply because my group appeared to be big in numbers. I spent the year feeling like I was always behind, and I spent all my time simply trying to keep the crowd of youth under control and entertained. It was also during that time that my personal life was in shambles. I remember this one moment during that time when I felt completely defeated, and I seriously considered leaving the church. I was unhappy, I was exhausted, and I was stretched. I had no idea where I was going.

I remember sitting in the dark sanctuary of the church by myself at 2 in the morning staring at the cross. My mind was a blank. All I wanted was to feel something, I wanted to know that God was there holding me, helping me, walking with me. Instead I left the church that night feeling numb, but that was it. The next day didn't get better, in fact the next year didn't get better, but somehow, I kept going. That was the year that I was asked to justify my job, by providing numbers of youth, detailed time sheets of how I was spending my time, and a list of results, goals and outcomes.

Somewhere in all this I came to a place where I remembered why I was doing this ministry. I think that 2 Corinthians 4:1-2 captures it best: "Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart. We have renounced the shameful things that one hides; we refuse to practice cunning or to falsify God's word; but by the open statement of the trust we commend ourselves to the conscience of everyone in the sight of God." I think that subconsciously God was sending me that message. It was by God's mercy that I was doing this ministry. God was holding me, supporting me and walking with me. I wish I had been engaged in the practices of sabbath during that difficult time, because I think I would have come to this understanding a lot sooner. Taking time each week to meditate on scriptures, and taking time to share my thoughts and questions with others gives me strength, clarity of purpose, and hope. It is because of God that I have not been crushed, nor driven to despair, forsaken or destroyed. I'm grateful for the 13 years that I've had at Riverbend, the relationships that I've built, the depth of sharing that comes with this long term ministry. I'm also grateful that I lived in the struggle because it has helped me to come to know the person that I am and it has deepened my faith. It is something that I will always treasure.

I hope and pray that others will find comfort and strength in knowing that we all struggle in this ministry and that we are not alone. May these words bring you peace, and hope as you continue in this ministry:
"So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18.

Blessings, Karen

Treasure in Clay Jars 2 Corinthians 4: 7-15

Hello Friends,

This was a scripture that was shared at a recent meeting I was at, and I thought it would be good to spend some more time reflecting on it. I will post my reflection later this week.

Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart.

But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies. For while we live, we are always being given up to death for Jesus sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

But just as we have the same spirit of faith that is in accordance with scripture--"I believed, that so I spoke" -- we also believe, and so we speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus, and will bring us with you into his presence. Yes, everything is for your sake, so that grace, as it extends to more and more people, may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

When God Made Me

Dear Sabbath Bloggers,

This past Sunday was Music Sunday at Islington United Church, a day for celebrating the many gifts that are offered musically in this congregation. Two people offered reflections, one on Bach, the other on Neil Young’s song “When God Made Me.” A young adult preached on the amazing words of this song, and following his spoken word, he sang these words to us:

Was he thinkin' about my country
Or the color of my skin?
Was he thinkin' 'bout my religion
And the way I worshipped him?
Did he create just me in his image
Or every living thing?

When God made me
When God made me

Was he planning only for believers
Or for those who just have faith?
Did he envision all the wars
That were fought in his name?
Did he say there was only one way
To be close to him?

When God made me
When God made me

Did he give me the gift of love
To say who I could choose?

When God made me
When God made me

When God made me
When God made me

Did he give me the gift of voice
So some could silence me?
Did he give me the gift of vision
Not knowing what I might see?
Did he give me the gift of compassion
To help my fellow man?

When God made me
When God made me
When God made me
When God made me

Needless to say, the Spirit moved past the safe place I have created to shield my soul from the changing winds of the Spirit. I was especially moved by the words in the last verse where Young speaks of God’s gifts of voice, vision and compassion, each from in the context of love. I was moved to a place of bravery for my youth, for my ministry and for the vision the Spirit has granted to me.

Sarah Chapman, who is working on the GO Project this summer in Toronto, and I have been gathering together to hold not only the GO Project in the light of Sabbath time, but have also bonded together to share each week our joys and struggles, in each our individual beings. A while back, at our last meeting in Tatamagouche, NS many of us on the team shared our difficulties in holding the Sabbath time on our own. My time in sharing with Sarah has re-enforced the necessity of gathering two or more together in sacred time together. I encourage each person, on the team, or simply reading this blog to find one person, with whom you can gather together with, over coffee, over a candle, over a pint, to share your time and story with.

When God made you, a vision of community was created, a vision that sparks into action our voices, our compassion, our hope, our love, for a world that is a better place for all, a church that is truly open to the change found only in the love of God.

I hope these words and the words of Neil Young inspire these gifts to rise up within you.

Peace Sisters and Brothers,
Michael

ps - the following link has a recording of the song if you want a listen, following a 10 second add, enjoy!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4736779

Wedding Season - May 25-31, 2008

John 2:1-11

This posting is late. Approximately 2 weeks late. It’s been a busy couple of weeks, but the three months before that were basically commitment-free, and I didn’t even think about doing anything ahead of time. So much for the value of Sabbath preparation, eh? No excuses...

It’s also been a challenging couple of weeks for our discernment group. People have shared their personal struggles with ministry, with call, and with commitment. It’s taken courage and faith for them to open up and speak honestly. Their concerns and struggles are probably the same concerns and struggles that we all face in one way or another, but usually we don’t feel that we have the tools or often, the willingness, to bring up. Hopefully, our intentional time together in April helped to create a community that encourages us to be more honest and challenging with one another. There are definitely limits to what internet community alone can provide.

The challenge is figuring out how to respond when people are struggling. Whether it’s the youth in our churches, or ministry friends spread out across the country, it’s hard to know how to care. Ministry of presence is tough over the internet. Sitting silently with your hand on someone’s shoulder doesn’t have the same effect when it’s an electronic hand, and an electronic shoulder. And how do you even convey supportive silence electronically? Text “hmmm...tell me how that makes you feel” every once in a while?

So, this is the best I can do for now. You are my friends. I admire you, I respect you, and I am constantly in awe of your wisdom, faith, and strength. Your experiences are your own, and I don’t know what it’s like to be in the places you are right now, facing the hurdles you face right now, and making the decisions you’re making right now. But, I’d like to hear about them.

At the very least, I can assure you that none of this stuff is a reflection of your ability or skill or worthiness or anything else like that. Everyone who has ever been dumb enough to get involved in youth ministry knows what it means to feel woefully inadequate. The hard thing to accept is that there’s no such thing as adequate. We’re all hopelessly in over our heads, but somehow God thinks that’s ok.

My sister got married a couple of weeks ago, and the entire production was a gong show from the moment it started until the final party-goer left the hall at 3am. Typical small town Saskatchewan hill-billy wedding. My only responsibility was to emcee the evening, and the phrase “herding cats” came to mind quite often. The bridal party was an hour late for supper, the bartender didn’t show up, the sound system only worked sporadically, and the darn computer projector kept going into sleep mode in the middle of the cute picture shows.

Absolutely nothing went the way it was supposed to. Well, nothing went the way I thought it was supposed to, anyway. All the half-funny jokes, all the hours spent wrestling with powerpoint (and cursing Microsoft), all the planning and stress...and nothing worked.

And the worst part came after everything was over. It’s 3:30 in the morning, I’m lying in the hotel room, smelling like stale beer (did I mention that somebody forgot to hire a cleaning crew?), and for some reason, I kept thinking about Sabbath and ministry with youth. The image stuck in my head was Jesus trying to get everybody to chill out at the Canaan wedding. How sick is that?

At times it feels like herding cats. Nothing goes the way it’s supposed to. The literal and symbolic powerpoint never works, people don’t show up, the wine runs out (don’t worry, we had that one covered), and there are plenty of late nights spent cleaning up somebody else’s mess.

As much as it drives us insane to admit it, none of it makes one bit of difference in the end. When it all comes down to it, nobody remembers that junk anyway. The only thing that matters is that there was a beautiful celebration of love and God’s presence.

Friends, in weddings and youth ministry and Sabbath and life, we’re in way over our heads. Please know that your cat herd isn’t the only one that feels out of control. We can’t herd them, but at least we can love them, even if it is only one at a time. And that’s better than ok. God thinks that’s incredible.

Elihu and listening...

Job 32:1-14

In this passage Elihu is a youth. He has been sitting in the shadows for sometime, watching as the older men speak. He respectfully listens, truly listens to his mentors...listens intentionally to be changed by what they are saying. Although, he gets frustrated and after his listening he speaks out. Most believe that these speeches were an addition to the book of Job. Either way, they really capture the importance of the voice of youth.

I don't know if we always truly listen to youth. I think we know what we want them to say. This weekend was MC Youth Forum and Rick brought a question to the youth from the floor of conference. I realized that I knew how I wanted them to respond, and some did accordinly. Yet, there were so many different answers. Diversity in expereince and perspective among youth is important and I think I need to remember this. I need to be open to be changed by their words instead of already presuming what they are going to say.

Also, I think I may have been putting to many presumptions or expectations on my Sabbath time or prayer life as it has been lacking space to just listen. I forgot that to listen to hear that what the spirit is saying to me, just might be different from what I have heard before. Just might have the power to change me or move me in a new direction.

Elihu's words are empowering for both their presence and their content. Reading this passage this week taught me that maybe if I listen harder I might be able to actually have something more powerful to say.