This posting is late. Approximately 2 weeks late. It’s been a busy couple of weeks, but the three months before that were basically commitment-free, and I didn’t even think about doing anything ahead of time. So much for the value of Sabbath preparation, eh? No excuses...
It’s also been a challenging couple of weeks for our discernment group. People have shared their personal struggles with ministry, with call, and with commitment. It’s taken courage and faith for them to open up and speak honestly. Their concerns and struggles are probably the same concerns and struggles that we all face in one way or another, but usually we don’t feel that we have the tools or often, the willingness, to bring up. Hopefully, our intentional time together in April helped to create a community that encourages us to be more honest and challenging with one another. There are definitely limits to what internet community alone can provide.
The challenge is figuring out how to respond when people are struggling. Whether it’s the youth in our churches, or ministry friends spread out across the country, it’s hard to know how to care. Ministry of presence is tough over the internet. Sitting silently with your hand on someone’s shoulder doesn’t have the same effect when it’s an electronic hand, and an electronic shoulder. And how do you even convey supportive silence electronically? Text “hmmm...tell me how that makes you feel” every once in a while?
So, this is the best I can do for now. You are my friends. I admire you, I respect you, and I am constantly in awe of your wisdom, faith, and strength. Your experiences are your own, and I don’t know what it’s like to be in the places you are right now, facing the hurdles you face right now, and making the decisions you’re making right now. But, I’d like to hear about them.
At the very least, I can assure you that none of this stuff is a reflection of your ability or skill or worthiness or anything else like that. Everyone who has ever been dumb enough to get involved in youth ministry knows what it means to feel woefully inadequate. The hard thing to accept is that there’s no such thing as adequate. We’re all hopelessly in over our heads, but somehow God thinks that’s ok.
My sister got married a couple of weeks ago, and the entire production was a gong show from the moment it started until the final party-goer left the hall at 3am. Typical small town Saskatchewan hill-billy wedding. My only responsibility was to emcee the evening, and the phrase “herding cats” came to mind quite often. The bridal party was an hour late for supper, the bartender didn’t show up, the sound system only worked sporadically, and the darn computer projector kept going into sleep mode in the middle of the cute picture shows.
Absolutely nothing went the way it was supposed to. Well, nothing went the way I thought it was supposed to, anyway. All the half-funny jokes, all the hours spent wrestling with powerpoint (and cursing Microsoft), all the planning and stress...and nothing worked.
And the worst part came after everything was over. It’s 3:30 in the morning, I’m lying in the hotel room, smelling like stale beer (did I mention that somebody forgot to hire a cleaning crew?), and for some reason, I kept thinking about Sabbath and ministry with youth. The image stuck in my head was Jesus trying to get everybody to chill out at the Canaan wedding. How sick is that?
At times it feels like herding cats. Nothing goes the way it’s supposed to. The literal and symbolic powerpoint never works, people don’t show up, the wine runs out (don’t worry, we had that one covered), and there are plenty of late nights spent cleaning up somebody else’s mess.
As much as it drives us insane to admit it, none of it makes one bit of difference in the end. When it all comes down to it, nobody remembers that junk anyway. The only thing that matters is that there was a beautiful celebration of love and God’s presence.
Friends, in weddings and youth ministry and Sabbath and life, we’re in way over our heads. Please know that your cat herd isn’t the only one that feels out of control. We can’t herd them, but at least we can love them, even if it is only one at a time. And that’s better than ok. God thinks that’s incredible.
1 comment:
Should have used a MAC ... need I say more :-)
Post a Comment