Out of the pit, onto the rock of Sabbath!

God put a new song in my mouth! I will sing, sing a new song. I feel as though God has indeed heard our cry as a church, the cry and lament we hear in the words of the Call To Purpose:

"We long for a deeper relationship with God.
We long for deeper connections with one another.
We acknowledge the brokeness, pain and fear that we carry.
We believe that our spirituality and prophetic voice spring from once source
and are lived in one body!"

I have always loved this psalm though I've never considered myself a patient person. The imagery of lifting one out of the miry bog, the desolate pit to a solid place, a rock where one's footsteps are firm really captures my attention. I truly believe that God has finally heard our cry from the world of Youth and Young Adult Ministry and has set us upon a rock which is the practice of sabbath, and we are now called to tell the great congregation of the glad news of this deliverance.

Last weekend we had our annual Riverbend United Church youth retreat and the theme for the weekend was "I will follow you into the dark." The first night the leaders invited the youth to exactly that. The leaders and the youth walked into a dark space in silence, no questions were asked, and there we waited in silence. A single candle was lit in the middle of the room and after another minute different voices were heard in the circle reading the words from Psalm 23. There was a sense of mystery, trust, and spiritual stirring in the room as we prepared to embark on this theme for the rest of the weekend together. From the dark we emerged into the light where we reflected on what comes next after our time here on Earth is over. The youth then spent some time in a spiritual practice of creating a mandala depicting their understanding of the afterlife. The colours, and the designs held what I can only describe as hope and spirit. The experience was moving.
But I'm left wondering, who in my life would I be willing to follow into the dark? The dark holds the unknown, it holds great fear, but it also holds the quiet and the work of the Holy Spirit. Parker Palmer in his book "Let Your Life Speak; Listening for the Voice of Vocation" reminds us of the importance of sharing our shadowed selves, our times of darkness with others. Too often we focus on the light, and yet when we are lost, it is hearing about other's struggles and fears that often bring us the most comfort and the most learnings. Palmer writes "Our frequent failure as leaders to deal with our inner lives leaves too many individuals and institutions in the dark." (p.91) I can think of a few people who have modelled leading from a place where they have done their inner work, and who have taught me how to lead from the places of darkness not just the light. The integrity that these people have shown is astounding and the results of this risk have been illuminating, life changing and inspiring.
It is in honour of these people that I share with you the shadows for me in youth and young adult ministry.

• the shadow of not having my ministry understood or valued by others, the institute of the church or those in power.
• the fear of placing youth in high risk situations where they could be hurt by well intentioned people.
• the shadow belief that programs are youth ministry. That time spent in groups and programs are more valuable then time spent in building relationships. That numbers justify this work.
• The crippling fear that I will miss opportunities or signs that youth are in need of support or understanding because I'm distracted by the "work" of the church or because I am too tired, or burnt out.
  

When these fears or these shadows take over, when we are mired in the bog, or stuck in the desolate pit we are leading from a place of fear. The psalmist reminds me that God has answered my cry, and has given me the practice of sabbath as my rock, as my solid ground where my footsteps are firm. I now believe with all my heart that doing our inner work is just as important as doing our outer work. When we do our inner work, "we now stand on ground that will support us, ground from which we can lead others toward a more trustworthy, more helpful, more faithful way of being in the world." (Palmer, "Let Your Life Speak" p. 94)
God has indeed put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:3

We need to embrace the shadows, we need to cease allowing fear to control us and lead us, we need to rest from the outer work in order to allow time for our inner work, and we need to feast and celebrate the fruits that will emerge from this time of Sabbath.

Karen